Family Matters

By Bobbi Brown

Staff Writer

Brown family of Bridgeport, Conn., posing in front of their brand new home.

Photo courtesy of the Hartford Courant newspaper / Extreme Makeover Home Edition (Stephan Dunn)

Some may argue that all tears that are cried are alike, but that’s not true. People cry for many reasons, and some tears are happy and some are sad. One tear that I can relate with is that tear of sadness and a lack of family love; at the age of five I was placed into foster care with my little brother. Although we had older siblings we were all still too young to take care of each other. My parents were unable to provide us the things we needed and most of all they were not able to give us that love.

In America alone there are over 15 million children waiting to be placed into foster care. Every year this number rises because of the number of babies born that are not wanted, or the children who are placed into the system because of abuse.

There is a great need for foster care parents in the United States. Many children who are placed into foster care often feel the need to lash out at their care givers because they feel that no one loves them. They ask the question, “Why would someone do this do to me?” Like many children, I asked this very question. “Why?” I didn't understand why the family that my parents built was falling apart and why they didn’t fight hard enough to keep it together.

I blamed the world for the way life was treating my siblings and me. I am the third oldest out of nine children -- eight girls and one boy. The Department of Children and Families (DCF) separated all the children and placed each of us with at least one other sibling.

I was blessed to share my life with my little brother. Even though he is a year younger than me, he tries his best to protect me from everything. He has become my inspiration to always hold on to what you have close to your heart. We have been through everything, wishing every night that our family would one day get back together. We even joked about going on the show “The Locator” to search for our family.

Family is so very important and many people neglect to see this. We forget about family traditions and family functions, and focus on arguments and forget about the love of the family. Yes, we argue with parents and don’t agree with everything they say, but at least they are in our lives. Many children in foster care can’t say that about their lives.

Some children are not even in foster homes but in orphanages waiting for someone to come and rescue them. I have never been in an orphanage, but I have moved from home to home looking for a place to call my own. We needed a family that was not keeping us for the check that would be given at the end of each month. We needed a family who would honor holidays and family traditions, one who would be forever in our lives pushing us to achieve any goal we set our minds to. We needed a family who would chastise us when we were wrong and embrace us with love when we did something right.

We got that family in 1993. Finally we found someone who would turn around and become a parent all over again, after she had raised her own two children. We lived with my foster mom for a few years until 2001 when she officially made us her children. That was one of the happiest moments of my life.

Although she was a single mother, she made it her duty to make sure we

got everything we needed. Even when our home caught on fire in 2007, she never gave up and still encouraged us to keep believing that everything would work out. In 2008 our family was blessed to get a brand new home built from the ground up on the TV show called “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.”

This, all because one little old women believed in the value of family, and took in two little children and showed them unfailing love.

America needs real people and families to step up to the plate and make a difference in some young child’s life. Even if they never get adopted like I did, just to be in a stable home makes a difference. Children need that, since love and care will allow them to break out of their shell to share what they are going through.

Picture expresses the need for foster and adoptive parents...one step at a TIME!

Photo courtesy of The Foster Care Prevention/Family Preservation Program

There are many ways people can become a foster parent, by just simply dialing 1-888-Kid-Hero or signing up for a ten week training that will assure them of the skills needed to become a great foster or adoptive parent. Like many jobs or anything involving children, there is a mandatory background check to ensure the safety of the children.

With all that is needed to be a foster parent what matters the most is the happiness of a child, and the chance to make a dream come true. Become a foster parent and make a positive difference.