My Balancing Act

By Charlene Cabral

Staff Writer

Me and my daughter Camille

Photo by Charlene Cabral

As challenging as being a single working mom getting an education may be, the end result is completely worth all of the sacrifices.

On September 22, 2007 at 9:58 p.m., I was blessed with the greatest gift ever known. For ten months I awaited her arrival, and like her father, she kept me waiting.

For the last two months of my agonizing wait I got to know her in such an intimate way. Never did I build a bond with anyone as I did with her in those two months. Every turn, every poke, every kick was hers and mine alone. She would let me know when she felt my hand over her, having long deep conversations with each other.

So on that warm September night when she finally blessed me with her appearance, I knew that all I wanted to do was make sure that all of Camille’s dreams could come true.

When I was twelve years old, my eighteen year old aunt was granted a full scholarship to college, the first in my family to go on to college. Three months later she found out she was pregnant.

As devastating as the news initially was, my aunt did not let it deter her. She took her year off from school to have my cousin, but the very next semester she went right back to school. I am proud to say that she went on to receive her master’s in sociology and is now a high level administrator for the Department of Children and Families here in Bridgeport. It was hard for her to do it alone, but she persevered. I know that sounds so romantic, and every word of it is true, but I live in reality. As much as I want to do everything for my daughter, I know that I need two key factors to make it all happen: money and wits.

For the past three years I have tried to figure out how to provide my daughter with the love, guidance, support, and food that she needs. I can live as a starving artist, but I don’t think my Cami can appreciate mommy’s dedication to her craft. So as of recently I have subscribed to the “single-working-mom-trying-to-get-her-degree” lifestyle. I have to admit, it is quite the challenge.

I have to say the biggest challenge that I am facing right now would be the lack of sleep. As of now I work from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., then I am at school until 10 p.m. The only time my daughter sees me is in the morning when I’m getting us ready for our day.

There are days when I wake up and I just want to sleep in and spend the rest of my day with my daughter. As much as I want to, I still get up and go through the motions because I know the end result will benefit the two of us.

“What about your social life?” My answer to that is, what social life?

I have learned that there are some sacrifices that you just have to make, and having a social life is one of them for me. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a complete hermit. I do make it out at least once a month. The rest of the time is spent either with my daughter or studying, it’s a choice that I made and one I am willing to live with. If my aunt could do it, I sure can as well.

My aunt is my inspiration. She is proof that it is possible. Don’t get me wrong, as “glamorous” as it may look on paper, to say I am a working a 40 hour job and going to school, there are times when I just want to give up. Times when I have an essay, a midterm, and a group project all due on the same day, and the night before my little princess in running a fever. Never mind the demands of a job as well.

As discouraging as it can get sometimes, and trust it has, all I have to do is look at that spunky little girl, and I remember why it is all worth it.