Don’t Let Your Secrets Control You

Nick Geiste
Staff Writer

Everyone has secrets. Whether the secrets are trivial and the individual does not feel it necessary to share, or substantial secrets that they are ashamed of because of fear of rejection. Either way, everyone is hurting inside by some sort of feeling; their secret is the front they put on.

It seems that the media and what the general public expects from us causes people to lie and carry out activities that they wouldn’t normally do without any influences. This makes it hard for us to open up to others knowing that society is so engrossed with being perfect. After all, why should we feel the need to spill our secrets when we are run by a bunch of people that keep the biggest secrets from us?

What is striving people to not share these happenings or feelings, is what makes keeping secrets interesting. Maybe it's a secret that provokes the past so it is easier to not talk about it. It could be a secret that you keep because you don't want to hurt others feelings. It could be curiosity towards something that causes you to secretly do a task and not tell. However, rejection I feel is one of the main reasons why a person should feel the need to keep secrets. Whether the person has done something discouraging and they are ashamed to tell someone or they feel they are different and afraid of what people might think of them.

You don't have to be afraid of rejection if you tell someone close to you what has been causing all these problems. The longer you hold in a secret, the harder it is to find the truth within you.

I’m not saying that this an easy task to accomplish, I have kept harmful secrets from my friends and family and have told them harmful secrets. Telling your friends and family something that you know they will be ashamed of, hurts. The last thing you would want to do is hurt someone close to you because of something that you have done. For instance, I have had three surgeries on my knee in two years, the third one coming around my senior year. I was hopeful going into my senior year that I would be able to play soccer again for the first time since freshman year. Also, if that went well I was hoping to play basketball on our woeful basketball team. So bad, I could possibly start. Disappointingly, none of this happened. During the second soccer game of the season, my knee dislocated and I tore my MCL and meniscus yet again. I had to get another surgery. This time the doctors decided to put stabilizers in my knee causing me to rest it more. After the cast was off and all the pain medication was gone, I felt depressed. I wasn’t sure why. The summer was coming, my cast was off, I was more mobile, but yet I was walking around like a zombie. It felt as if I needed the medication just to be myself again even though my knee did not hurt that much. With no thanks to the valley, I started getting pain medication to get through my days. It wasn't long until people close to me started noticing that I have changed. I became much more irritable when I either had the pills or didn't have them, it didn't matter. When my friends and family asked me why I have been acting strange, I acted like I didn't change at all. After a while, I learned that this is not the lifestyle for me. I did not want to spend my day waiting on someone else, or being rude to people that I'm always nice to. As difficult as it was, I had to spill my secrets. I had to tell everyone close to me what was wrong with me and that I was sorry. I told my girlfriend, my best friends, my brother, and my mother. If I had told my father, I probably wouldn’t have lived to talk about it. My mother was the hardest to talk to. She didn't understand why I would take pain medication without having any pain. I didn't want to get too far into the reasoning with her, so I said, “I’m sorry I was dumb. It didn’t take me long to realize that I’m better than that.”

They were all upset that things turned out this way, but all of them also wanted to help. At a time where I felt so low in life, they didn't criticize me or turn away from me. They stood their ground. The same ground I would stand on for them. This showed me that I could tell them pretty much anything and it would be okay.

No matter how big of a secret you are hiding, someone that loves you wants to know, needs to know, and most importantly wants to help. So why not relieve your stress and let it all out.